Chronic patients and disabled people are not at their peak sexual fitness. Still, they need love, touch, intimacy, and sex. The ability to fantasize is not impaired.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without."
Confucius (551 BC – 479 BC) was a Chinese teacher, politician, and philosopher. By Simran Khurana (Updated March 18, 2017)
Sex is perceived by most of us as a pleasurable physical act, the primary purpose of which is to produce offspring. But sex is critically important in a couple's energetic recharge. Couples who do not have touch, hugs, caresses, kisses, and sexual contact (even without penetration) usually do not survive for years but sometimes only stay together.
Significant physiological differences exist between chronic diseases and disability in the sexual context. At the same time, in the mental context, the result is often quite similar.
- Many couples who suffer from a problem in which one partner is sick or physically incapacitated do not engage in an open dialogue in the sexual context. The premise that the chronically ill or disabled do not need sex stems from a misunderstanding, which only exacerbates the problem!
- Unfortunately, love and happiness are precious commodities. Sex with love inspires happiness and charges the life force. The marital relationship is of critical importance in the recovery of patients from any chronic illness. Stories of recovery from severe illnesses are often stories of great love.
Love is ageless. It has no boundaries. It is not only between men and women but in every possible configuration. Love is independent of culture, color, race, religion, language, or country!
Men and women with chronic illnesses often have difficulty with sexual function but have no restrictions on receiving and giving love.
- Sex with a deep connection has an energetic meaning because it also serves as a charger for the life-force energy vital to our health. Even if the sexual ability is impaired, the desire and longing for touch still exist. The ability to fantasize sexually also exists at any age!
- There is no reason to avoid sex for health reasons. The frequency and expectations, of course, need to be tailored to the situation.
- Often (as has happened to me), one of the spouses\' prolonged illnesses has devastating consequences that sometimes lead to separation or divorce.
The question of how to behave with a sick spouse is a question that few talk about.
- Living with a spouse who suffers from a prolonged chronic illness is the ultimate test of any relationship, not just sexuality. Chronic diseases usually intensify the relationship, positive or negative. Some couples strengthen their bond during sickness, but other relationships may not survive. The decision to stay together is a joint decision between the two partners, but the healthy spouse must not feel he is making a painful sacrifice.
Many years ago, a naturopathic therapist told me that if the emotional connection between the couple before the prolonged outbreak of the disease were excellent, the relationship would only deepen. And if the bond weren't proper, it probably wouldn't survive, either! (I am not an expert in the field. I believe she was right.)
Prolonged betrayal of the healthy spouse is not only sexual but emotional abandonment!
- The sick spouse, usually aware of the infidelity, sometimes consciously ignores it to avoid conflict with the spouse "doing him or her a favor" by staying with them. But the patient pays for it an energetic price of "humiliation" and a feeling of inferiority.
- As a severe chronic Liver-kidney patient, after many years of struggling with survival, including prolonged treatments in China, I no longer felt any emotional connection between my wife and me, only an economic relationship. I realized that I had to end a long marriage despite the difficulties. The decision is, of course, individual, as everyone is in a different situation.
- I gained courage only when I felt I was in advanced recovery. Divorce and separation can deplete the life-force energy. For patients in severe conditions, it is advisable to avoid conflicts.
Despite the many difficulties of getting divorced at an older age, I am happy with my decision. At the same time, it is a personal decision that others cannot deduce.
Improvement of sexual function (men & women) through self-healing tools.
Patients with chronic diseases often exude unpleasant body and mouth odors. It is essential to make a habit of bathing and brushing your teeth before getting into bed or before having sex.
Erectile dysfunction is frequent among chronically sick men.
- It does not indicate a lack of sexual desire or fantasy. It can also happen in healthy young people who experienced a painful sexual failure that traumatized them. Erectile anxiety is a negative vicious cycle in which men may enter a prolonged frustration of a sexless life. Medicines such as Viagra and Cialis may help, but they are not a magic solution. Without the cooperation of a loving, considerate, and understanding partner, it is tough to get out of the situation, except when there is a dramatic change for the better in the medical condition that improves the erection and libido naturally. Those who have erectile dysfunction and have a supportive partner must stop being ashamed and teach the partner what to do. (It's not always obvious.)
Women with chronic diseases may suffer from decreased libido and sexual function, only in a different way than men.
- Sexual expression in women is more emotional, eliminating thoughts about sex, lack of interest in the subject, or vaginal dryness during intercourse. At the same time, the need for support, love, and warmth only increases.
Man with erection.
Improvement of sexual function in chronically sick men having a spouse - The woman should take the initiative.
Weak sexual function and erectile dysfunction are widespread in men who suffer from chronic morbidity—accompanied by poor self-esteem, depression, and anger. If you want sex with penetration (only if it's not stressful), it is advisable to achieve a firm erection by rubbing the penis on the woman's upper buttock after applying a lubricant (water-based); it is also possible between the thighs or breasts. Once you get a good erection, penetration is much easier. A supportive and understanding woman means a lot.
- Having sex with a sick man requires patience and early planning. (Spontaneity can cause disappointment.) Drug therapy is usually not effective in chronic patients. (Viagra & Cialis have many side effects.)
Citrus-rich foods (mainly found in watermelons and melons) may improve erection.
Aphrodisiac foods and other tools.
- Muscle-strengthening activity, such as swimming, weight lifting, and cycling, increases the level of testosterone in the blood and improves erection.
- A balanced, varied, healthy diet is essential for proper sexual function.
- Citrus-rich foods (mainly found in watermelons and melons) may improve erection.
- Drinking freshly squeezed juices is an example of a simple tool anyone can apply. The increase in body energy significantly and immediately improves sexual ability.
- Controlled sunbaths can elevate the male hormone testosterone, with numerous additional benefits. It also benefits women without any side effects.
- A steam sauna will allow men, particularly, an improved sexual erection. (It improves blood pressure temporarily.)
- A good night's sleep is essential for proper sexual function.
For sick men with erection problems who have a supportive and understanding partner, it is advisable to get used to sex without penetration.
- Relaxation may improve sexual ability later on. It is possible to rub the penis with a lubricant (water-based) over the buttocks (when the woman is lying on her stomach, between the thighs, or the breasts. Shame causes a mental disconnection and not just a sexual disconnection. The healthy partner should take the initiative. Oral sex, with proper hygiene, is a possibility of mutual satisfaction.
- Sick men can be exhausted in the late evening and night. It is essential to have sex when the partner feels comfortable. (Good timing is vital.)
- Making sex a love game is desirable, calm, slow, and relaxed. Most women know what their spouse loves and try to fulfill small fantasies that the sick spouse loves. It's a question of attention and not just sex.
- Sick men often have an erection problem. A woman must learn not to end sexual acts with anger or disappointment. Even if the male spouse cannot have sex with penetration, this is not a reason to avoid sex. Many women are capable of satisfaction in other ways. (Oral sex or sex toys.)
Sick or disabled women have the need and capacity to give both love and sexuality.
Improving sexual function in chronically sick women having a spouse - The man should take the initiative.
Women have a more emotional need for speech, emotion, and support. (This is due to the positive energy center\'s location in the chest versus that of the man in the groin area.)
- Sick women have both mental and sexual needs. It is worth practicing sex in which you dress in sexy clothes your partner likes. Ask him to caress your hair, breasts, and lower abdomen area. Body contact is essential. Even if you cannot have penetrating sex, suggest that your partner lie on top of you and rub the penis over your buttocks, thighs, or breasts (preferably a water-based lubricant). The touch itself and the feeling of togetherness are of paramount importance. Shame and avoidance of contact are a recipe for emotional detachment, not just sexual.
- Oral sex, with proper hygiene, is a possibility of mutual satisfaction. A sick woman\'s spouse can give the woman intense physical and mental satisfaction through romance, intimate touch, caressing, aromatic oils, and asking the woman for an erotic dress that emphasizes her femininity. If a woman cannot reach orgasm through penetration, the man should know how to please the woman even without penetration. (Oral sex, sex toys, etc.)
- Women need sex but are biologically and mentally capable of living without sex with less frustration than men.
Aphrodisiac foods & other tools.
- Moderate exercise, massages, and sun exposure enhance sexual desire, but the leading arousal is usually mental-emotional.
- A balanced diet of quality, varied, healthy foods containing antioxidants is essential for women\'s proper sexual function.
A healthy spouse's love and support are critical to recovery.
Living with a loving spouse provides love, stability, happiness, and partnership that contribute to inner joy and thus increase life-force energy. Love at any age has energetic properties that can boost life-force energy.
- Recovery stories show that the spouse, family, and friends\' love and support are significant.
- Supporting a sick person (man or woman) always involves sacrifice and suffering. The patient always feels whether support is by choice or by necessity.
- The support that comes from love strengthens the sick spouse.
- Support, by default, weakens the chronically ill patient because he feels they burden the healthy spouse.
- In many severe chronic illnesses, sexual ability (also in women) is impaired, but the ability to give love increases because a sick person feels grateful to a healthy spouse.
- Contact, intimacy (even without penetration), interpersonal, and romance are essential in continuing the relationship.
Chronically ill patients who do not have a spouse.
The problem arises when the patient loses hope of healing and enters a vicious life cycle in solitude. When patients feel they are recovering, they often ask for parity. There are no incurable diseases in self-healing; it's a matter of time and determination.
- Many chronic patients who are not in a relationship do not seek significant parity, thinking they are not desirable because of their illness. (Perpetuates an unwanted situation.)
- In my experience, chronic patients are not motivated to go out for entertainment, so it\'s essential to fill their schedules with other content besides watching TV.
- Contact with people is of enormous importance in recovery processes:
- Classes or Workshops.
- Group trips. (Adapted to capabilities.)
- Volunteering for any cause. (For those who are capable.)
- Whenever possible, it is advisable to adopt a good-tempered pet.
- It is advisable to live near family members or close friends who will serve as a friend and attentive ears.
- Hosting someone suitable in their home is advisable for those who can afford it. Human contact is of great importance in the healing process.
Partner Tantra Exercise (Connect Deeply)
Tantric sex is suitable and recommended for everyone, sick and healthy alike. It is soothing and does not emphasize sexual performance.
Tantric sex emphasizes the romantic connection, full of emotions, warmth, love, and romance. Hugging, caressing, and kissing while trying to prolong the moment of sexual climax or avoid it altogether while feeling transcendent. Tantric sex is (rightly) perceived as sex that charges the life-force energy. Thus making it the perfect choice, especially for chronic patients. (For those who have a loving partner)
- Tantric sex can produce an orgasmic experience for both partners without penetration, which does not fall short of the pleasure of couples having sex with penetration. It is suitable for mixed and same-sex couples equally. Tantric sex is the best "medicine" for women with vaginismus and men with erectile dysfunction. Its primary disadvantage is that it requires a spouse willing to participate in the shared experience.
- Tantric sex creates a powerful, energetic bond between spouses. It provides, relaxes, and contributes to harmony and love between the couple.
- Tantric sex has no age limits; it is not dependent on sexual performance, which sometimes causes stress.
- Women, in particular, will enjoy tantric sex because the woman\'s positive magnetic pole is in the breast, and the man\'s positive pole is in the groin. Women often need more emotion in sex than men.
- Tantric sex is also suitable for couples who have decreased sexual function. Tantric sex, thanks to the emotional closeness and energetic charge it produces, may also help improve sexual ability in the long run.
The most potent health drugs are love, touch, warmth, romance, intimacy, and sex.
The significance of energy charging is vital. It is no coincidence that married couples live longer! Even as the frequency of sex decreases, love continues and recharges the energy of life.