Love and support strengthen the sick spouse. A mercy-based relationship that emphasizes sacrifice hurts the patient!
The marital relationship is of critical importance in the recovery of patients from any chronic illness. Stories of recovery from severe illnesses are often stories of great Love. Love is ageless. It has no boundaries. It is not only between men and women but in every possible configuration. Love is independent of culture, color, race, religion, language, or country!
Men and women with chronic illnesses sometimes have difficulty with sexual function but have no restrictions on receiving and giving Love. When the relationship is supportive and loving, the patient gives more Love than usual because the patient appreciates the healthy spouse's sacrifice and support. When the marital relationship is only apparent, the atmosphere and conduct are different and felt.
Unfortunately, coping with a spouse's long-term illness is quite common in the modern age.
The question of how to behave with a sick spouse is a question that few talk about.
- Living with a spouse who suffers from a prolonged chronic illness is the ultimate test of any relationship, not just sexuality. Chronic diseases usually intensify the relationship, positive or negative. Some couples strengthen their bond during sickness, but other relationships may not survive. The decision to stay together is a joint decision between the two partners, but the healthy spouse must not feel as if he is making a painful sacrifice.
- Many years ago, a naturopathic therapist told me that if the emotional connection between the couple before the prolonged outbreak of the disease were excellent, the relationship would only deepen. And if the bond weren't proper, it probably wouldn't survive either! (I'm not an expert in the field; I believe she was right.)
Prolonged betrayal of the healthy spouse is not only sexual but emotional abandonment!
- The sick spouse, usually aware of the infidelity, sometimes consciously ignores it to avoid conflict with the spouse "doing him or her a favor" by staying with them. But the patient pays for it an energetic price of "humiliation" and a feeling of inferiority.
- As a severe chronic Liver-kidney patient, after many years of struggling with survival, including prolonged treatments in China on my own, I felt that there was no longer any emotional connection between my wife and me, but only an economic relationship. I realized that I had to end a long marriage despite the difficulties. The decision is, of course, individual as everyone is in a different situation.
- I admit that I gained courage only when I felt I was in the advanced recovery stages. Divorce and separation can deplete the life-force energy; it is advisable to avoid conflicts for patients in severe conditions.
- Despite the many difficulties of getting divorced at an older age, I am happy with my decision. At the same time, it is a personal decision that others cannot deduce.
Read the article with more practical recommendations, including recommendations for chronically ill patients who do not have a spouse.
