We are not old yet, but my spouse is sick and not sexually functioning. What am I supposed to do?

We are not old yet, but my spouse is sick and not sexually functioning. What am I supposed to do?

Love and support strengthen the sick spouse and help him heal. A mercy-based relationship that emphasizes sacrifice hurts the patient!

We are not old yet, but my spouse is sick and not sexually functioning. What am I supposed to do? image 1

Unfortunately, coping with a spouse's long-term illness is quite common in modern ages.

The question of how to behave with a sick spouse is a question that few talks about.

  • Living with a spouse who suffers from a prolonged chronic illness is the ultimate test of any relationship, not just sexuality. Chronic diseases usually intensify the relationship, positive or negative. Some couples strengthen their bond during sickness, but other relationships may not survive. The decision to stay together is a joint decision between the two partners, but the healthy spouse must not feel as if he is making a painful sacrifice.
  • Many years ago, a naturopathic therapist told me that if the emotional connection between the couple before the prolonged outbreak of the disease were excellent, the relationship would only deepen. And if the bond weren't right, it probably wouldn't survive either! (I'm not an expert in the field, I believe she was right.)

Prolonged betrayal of the healthy spouse is not only sexual but emotional abandonment!

  • As a severe chronic Liver-kidney patient, after many years of struggling with survival, including prolonged treatments in China on my own, I felt that there was no longer any emotional connection between my wife and me, but only an economic relationship. I realized that despite the difficulties, I had to end a long marriage. The decision is, of course, individual as everyone is in a different situation.
  • I admit that I gained courage only when I felt I was in advanced recovery stages. Divorce and separation can deplete the life-force energy, for patients in severe condition, it is advisable to avoid conflicts.
  • Despite the many difficulties of getting divorced at an older age, I am happy with the decision I made. At the same time, it is a personal decision that cannot be deduced to others.


Erectile dysfunction is joint among chronically sick men. But It does not indicate the lack of sexual need!

Improvement of sexual function (men & women) through self-healing tools.

Having sex with a sick partner requires patience and early planning. (Spontaneity can cause disappointment.)

Sick men.

  • Drug therapy is usually not effective in chronic patients. (Viagra & Cialis have many side-effects.)

Aphrodisiac foods & other tools.

  • A balanced diet of quality, varied and healthy foods is essential for proper sexual function.
    • Citrulline-rich foods (mainly found in watermelons and melons) may improve erection.
  • Drinking freshly squeezed juices and are examples of simple tools that anyone can apply. The increase in body energy significantly and immediately improves sexual ability.
  • Controlled sun-baths can elevate the male hormone testosterone, with numerous additional benefits. It also benefits women without any side-effects.  
  • A steam sauna will allow men, in particular, an improved sexual erection. (It improves temporarily the blood pressure.)
  • A good night's sleep is essential for proper sexual function.

Sexual behavior.

    • Sick men can be very tired in the late evening and night, it is essential to have sex when the partner feels comfortable. (Good timing is essential.)
    • It is desirable to make sex a love game, calm, slow, and relaxed.
    • Most women have an idea of what their spouse loves, try to fulfill small, fantasies that the sick spouse loves. It's a question of attention and not just sex.
    • Sick men often have an erection problem. It is very important for a woman to learn not to end the sexual act without anger or disappointment.
    • Even if the male spouse is unable to have sex with penetration, this is not a reason to avoid sex. Many women are capable of satisfaction in other ways. (Oral sex or sex toys.)


Sick (or disabled) women have the need and capacity to give both love and sexuality.

Sick women.

  • Women have more of an emotional need for speech, emotion, and support. (This is due to the location of the positive energy center in the chest versus that of the man in the groin area.)

Sexual behavior.

  • The spouse of a sick woman can give the woman intense physical and mental satisfaction through romance, intimate touch, caressing, aromatic oils, asking the woman for an erotic dress that emphasizes her femininity. If a woman is difficult to reach orgasm through penetration, the man should know how to please the woman even without penetration. (Oral sex, sex toys, etc.)

Aphrodisiac foods & other tools.

  • Moderate exercise, massages, and sun exposure enhance sexual desire in women as well, but the main cause will usually be mental-emotional.
  • A balanced diet of quality, varied and healthy foods containing antioxidants is essential for proper sexual function in women as well.


A healthy spouse's love and support are critical to recovery.

Living together with a loving spouse provides love, stability, happiness, and partnership that contributes to inner joy and thus increases the life-force energy.

Love, at any age, has energetic properties that can boost the life-force energy.

  • Recovery stories show that the love and support of the spouse, family, and friends are of great importance in recovery.
  • Supporting a sick person (man or woman) always involves sacrifice and suffering. The patient always feels whether support is by choice or by necessity.
  • The support that comes from love strengthens the sick spouse.
  • Support by default weakens the chronically ill patient because he feels that he or she is a burden on the healthy spouse.
  • In many cases of severe chronic illness, sexual ability (also in women) is impaired, but the ability to give love increases, because a sick person feels grateful to a healthy spouse.
  • Contact, intimacy, (even without penetration) interpersonal and romance, is of great importance in the continuation of the relationship.


Chronically ill patients who do not have a spouse. 

The problem arises when patients lose hope of healing and enter a vicious cycle of life in solitude. As soon as the patient feels that he or she is in the process of recovery, he or she will often ask for parity.

In the worldview of self-healing, there are no incurable diseases, it's just a matter of time and determination.

  • Many chronic patients who are not in a relationship at all do not seek significant parity, thinking that they are not desirable because of their illness. (Perpetuates an unwanted situation.)
  • In my experience, chronic patients have no motivation to go out for entertainment, so it's essential to fill the patient's agenda with other content besides watching TV.
  • Contact with people is of enormous importance in recovery processes:
    • Classes or Workshops.
    • Group trips. (Adapted to capabilities.)
    • Volunteering for any cause. (For those who are capable.)
  • Whenever possible, it is advisable to adopt a good-tempered dog. (Or other pet.)
  • It is advisable to live near family members or close friends, who will serve as a friend and an attentive ear.
  • For those who can afford it, it is advisable to host someone suitable in their home. Human contact is of great importance in the healing process.

I wish everyone better health, Love and romance with intimate relationships, and return to full sexual functioning.


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