We are not old yet, but my spouse is sick and not sexually functioning. What am I supposed to do?

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Love and support strengthen the sick spouse and help him heal. A mercy-based relationship that emphasizes sacrifice hurts the patient!

We are not old yet, but my spouse is sick and not sexually functioning. What am I supposed to do? image 1

The marital relationship is of critical importance in the recovery of patients from any chronic illness. Stories of recovery from severe illnesses are often stories of great love. Love is ageless. It has no boundaries. It is not only between men and women but in every possible configuration. Love is independent of culture, color, race, religion, language or country!

Men and women with chronic illnesses sometimes have difficulty with sexual function but have no restrictions on receiving and giving love. When the relationship is supportive and loving, the patient even gives more love than usual because he appreciates the healthy spouse's sacrifice and support. When the marital relationship is only apparent, the atmosphere and conduct are different and felt.


Unfortunately, coping with a spouse's long-term illness is quite common in the modern ages.

The question of how to behave with a sick spouse is a question that few talk about.

  • Living with a spouse who suffers from a prolonged chronic illness is the ultimate test of any relationship, not just sexuality. Chronic diseases usually intensify the relationship, positive or negative. Some couples strengthen their bond during sickness, but other relationships may not survive. The decision to stay together is a joint decision between the two partners, but the healthy spouse must not feel as if he is making a painful sacrifice.
  • Many years ago, a naturopathic therapist told me that if the emotional connection between the couple before the prolonged outbreak of the disease were excellent, the relationship would only deepen. And if the bond weren't right, it probably wouldn't survive either! (I'm not an expert in the field; I believe she was right.)

Prolonged betrayal of the healthy spouse is not only sexual but emotional abandonment!

  • The sick spouse, usually aware of the infidelity, sometimes consciously ignores it to avoid conflict with the spouse "doing him or her a favor" by staying with them. But the patient pays for it an energetic price of "humiliation" and a feeling of inferiority.
  • As a severe chronic Liver-kidney patient, after many years of struggling with survival, including prolonged treatments in China on my own, I felt that there was no longer any emotional connection between my wife and me, but only an economic relationship. I realized that despite the difficulties, I had to end a long marriage. The decision is, of course, individual as everyone is in a different situation.
  • I admit that I gained courage only when I felt I was in advanced recovery stages. Divorce and separation can deplete the life-force energy; for patients in severe conditions, it is advisable to avoid conflicts.
  • Despite the many difficulties of getting divorced at an older age, I am happy with my decision. At the same time, it is a personal decision that cannot be deduced by others.


Improvement of sexual function (men & women) through self-healing tools.

Erectile dysfunction is frequent among chronically sick men. But It does not indicate a lack of sexual desire or fantasy.

Chronically Sick men.

  • Having sex with a sick partner requires patience and early planning. (Spontaneity can cause disappointment.)
  • Drug therapy is usually not effective in chronic patients. (Viagra & Cialis have many side-effects.)

Aphrodisiac foods & other tools.

  • A balanced diet of quality, varied and healthy foods is essential for proper sexual function.
    • Citrulline-rich foods (mainly found in watermelons and melons) may improve erection.
  • Drinking freshly squeezed juices and are examples of simple tools that anyone can apply. The increase in body energy significantly and immediately improves sexual ability.
  • Controlled sun-baths can elevate the male hormone testosterone, with numerous additional benefits. It also benefits women without any side-effects.  
  • A steam sauna will allow men, in particular, an improved sexual erection. (It improves the blood pressure temporarily.)
  • A good night's sleep is essential for proper sexual function.

Sexual behavior.

  • Sick men can be exhausted in the late evening and night; it is essential to have sex when the partner feels comfortable. (Good timing is essential.)
  • It is desirable to make sex a love game, calm, slow, and relaxed.
  • Most women know what their spouse loves and try to fulfill small fantasies that the sick spouse loves. It's a question of attention and not just sex.
  • Sick men often have an erection problem. A woman needs to learn not to end the sexual act without anger or disappointment.
  • Even if the male spouse cannot have sex with penetration, this is not a reason to avoid sex. Many women are capable of satisfaction in other ways. (Oral sex or sex toys.)


Sick (or disabled) women have the need and capacity to give both love and sexuality.

Chronically sick women.

  • Women have more of an emotional need for speech, emotion, and support. (This is due to the positive energy center's location in the chest versus that of the man in the groin area.)

Sexual behavior.

  • A sick woman's spouse can give the woman intense physical and mental satisfaction through romance, intimate touch, caressing, aromatic oils, asking the woman for an erotic dress that emphasizes her femininity. If a woman is difficult to reach orgasm through penetration, the man should know how to please the woman even without penetration. (Oral sex, sex toys, etc.)

Aphrodisiac foods & other tools.

  • Moderate exercise, massages, and sun exposure enhance sexual desire in women similarly to men, but the main cause will usually be mental-emotional.
  • A balanced diet of quality, varied, and healthy foods containing antioxidants is essential for women's proper sexual function.


A healthy spouse's love and support are critical to recovery.

Living together with a loving spouse provides love, stability, happiness, and partnership that contribute to inner joy and thus increase life-force energy.

Love, at any age, has energetic properties that can boost the life-force energy.

  • Recovery stories show that the spouse, family, and friends' love and support are of great importance.
  • Supporting a sick person (man or woman) always involves sacrifice and suffering. The patient always feels whether support is by choice or by necessity.
  • The support that comes from love strengthens the sick spouse.
  • Support by default weakens the chronically ill patient because he feels that he or she is a burden on the healthy spouse.
  • In many severe chronic illnesses, sexual ability (also in women) is impaired, but the ability to give love increases because a sick person feels grateful to a healthy spouse.
  • Contact, intimacy (even without penetration), interpersonal, and romance are important in continuing the relationship.


Chronically ill patients who do not have a spouse. 

The problem arises when patients lose hope of healing and enter a vicious cycle of life in solitude. As soon as the patient feels that he or she is in the process of recovery, he or she will often ask for parity.

In the worldview of self-healing, there are no incurable diseases; it's just a matter of time and determination.

  • Many chronic patients who are not in a relationship do not seek significant parity, thinking that they are not desirable because of their illness. (Perpetuates an unwanted situation.)
  • In my experience, chronic patients have no motivation to go out for entertainment, so it's essential to fill the patient's agenda with other content besides watching TV.
  • Contact with people is of enormous importance in recovery processes:
    • Classes or Workshops.
    • Group trips. (Adapted to capabilities.)
    • Volunteering for any cause. (For those who are capable.)
  • Whenever possible, it is advisable to adopt a good-tempered dog. (Or other pet.)
  • It is advisable to live near family members or close friends, who will serve as a friend and an attentive ear.
  • For those who can afford it, it is advisable to host someone suitable in their home. Human contact is of great importance in the healing process.

I wish everyone better health, Love and romance with intimate relationships, and a return to full sexual functioning.


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