Love is ageless; It has no boundaries. Love is independent of culture, color, race, religion, language, or country. Love and support are essential for recovery from chronic diseases and addictions.
I can confidently say that without the love & support of a charming and beautiful Chinese woman named Alixin, I would not have survived harsh, painful, and prolonged treatments for many years. She is the one who, in her love, gave me a reason to live! Blog gallery link: The tremendous healing power of LOVE.
Unlike movies where the injured are usually young, chronic illnesses are not romantic.
Chronic illnesses often involve great suffering and sacrifice for a healthy spouse.
- Although some chronic diseases break out in adolescence, the most common ones break 45-50 and up. At these ages, most people live in a relationship. (Not necessarily marriage)
- When one spouse has a chronic illness, the relationship is usually not based on "sexual love" because chronic patients' sexual abilities are often inadequate.
- After endless treatments and a prolonged stay in China for 13 years, I found a Chinese woman's support and love. Had it not been for this love, I would not have survived the disease!
Photos of Alixin and myself over 14 years of acquaintance and deep love.
Unfortunately, coping with a spouse's long-term illness is quite common in the modern age.
The question of how to behave with a sick spouse is a question that few talk about.
- Living with a spouse who suffers from a prolonged chronic illness is the ultimate test of any relationship, not just sexuality. Chronic diseases usually intensify the relationship, positive or negative. Some couples strengthen their bond during sickness, but other relationships may not survive. The decision to stay together is a joint decision between the two partners, but the healthy spouse must not feel he is making a painful sacrifice.
- Many years ago, a naturopathic therapist told me that if the emotional connection between the couple before the prolonged outbreak of the disease were excellent, the relationship would only deepen. And if the bond weren't proper, it probably wouldn't survive either! (I'm not an expert in the field; I believe she was right.)
Prolonged betrayal of the healthy spouse is not only sexual but emotional abandonment.
- The sick spouse, usually aware of the infidelity, sometimes consciously ignores it to avoid conflict with the spouse "doing him or her a favor" by staying with them. But the patient pays for it an energetic price of "humiliation" and a feeling of inferiority.
- As a severe chronic Liver-kidney patient, after many years of struggling with survival, including prolonged treatments in China, I no longer felt any emotional connection between my wife and me, but only an economic relationship. I realized that I had to end a long marriage despite the difficulties. The decision is, of course, individual, as everyone is in a different situation.
- I gained courage only when I felt I was in the advanced recovery stages. Divorce and separation can deplete life-force energy; avoiding conflicts for patients in severe conditions are advisable.
- Despite the many difficulties of getting divorced at an older age, I am happy with my decision. At the same time, it is a personal decision that others cannot deduce.