The phenomenon you describe (vaginismus) results from a trauma you probably experienced in childhood or adolescence. The trauma resides in your subconscious, to which psychology has no access. I recommend you look into hypnotherapy. (with a qualified hypnotist) The treatment involves releasing the trauma from the subconscious that caused you those contractions. The treatment may be prolonged, but not for years. A warm and loving relationship with a supportive man means a lot. An objective difficulty stems from low self-esteem, where psychology may help. Sexual therapy to release "inhibitions" cannot penetrate the subconscious; its effectiveness depends mainly on a loving and supportive partner. A male surrogate does not provide love but primarily technical support.
Link: Hypnotherapy can penetrate the subconscious and eliminate unresolved mental traumas.
https://www.sf-healing.com/page/247 (Copy & Paste)
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